More than enough

In the wilderness, the future seems like a lost cause. I could not see the land in the fog. Is there really a promised land we could root ourselves in? Or is it a less-than-ideal shelter we had to contend in?

In my dented state of faith, Joy for no reason took a book out of the bookshelf and shoved it into my face, “More than enough.”

Abba Father knows. My faith tank was filled up.

Yet, only to be depleted shortly enough by my doubt. It’s a step forward to fight with faith and then a step back to guard my mind and heart. The dark whisperings muffled out Shepherd’s voice.

“Listen to my voice,” the Shepherd said to me, the sheep. He said it through Dorothy, during the Sunday sermon.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

John 10:27

“Sometimes we go against what God tells us,” Dorothy’s words came out like a light to expose me.

I had cried out for wisdom and God replied with, “Let your yes be yes, let your no be no.” It was not something I wanted to hear. I hardened my heart and did it my way. I tried to wriggle out of my sticky situation to no avail. Instead, I made the journey slightly unpleasant for everyone involved. I didn’t want to give up. Should I push through?

God spoke again during service. A contract is like a covenant relationship, just like marriage. It’s a promise. We don’t just divorce because we see someone better out there and decide that we made a wrong decision back then. Comparison brings out covetousness.

God had spoken, the green light was given, peace was there and thus the binding promise was made. But why in hindsight, does it seem like a bad move?

I empathised with Israelites wandering through the wilderness. Egypt looked better than the wilderness. Their complaints suggested they too regretted making a bad move.

Now the rabble that was among them had a strong craving. And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt that cost nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.”

Numbers 11:4‭-‬6

“Guard your heart”, my friend texted me during our conversation at 430am. For a few nights, I had been waking up in the middle of the night because of a heavy heart and distressing dreams. And this one night was particularly bad, and I texted my friend for something to help me in the situation.. and miraculously she was awake to give me words of wisdom and remind me to receive God’s shalom.

Another time when I was wallowing in disappointment and regret, Grace said to herself out of nowhere, rather loudly, ‘More than infinity! I thought she was going to say more than enough because God has been showing me the phrase, “more than enough“.

What do I have more than enough?

Interestingly, I just realised my previous post title was Never Enough. Not planned by me but by God. He’s a good planner, ain’t he? I re-read the post and received this: God is more than enough for me.

I was praying with Hubs over the situation. The story of Elisha and the Widow’s oil (2 Kings 4) came to his mind. Ah, more than enough, I thought. He has more than enough for me. We just need to bring the jars of faith for Him to fill.

His words of encouragement are also more than enough, although I wish He was more specific in directing my steps.

Shalom. Wisdom. Providence.

Please pray for me and my family, thank you!

Ps Joseph Prince’s inspirational calendar
Calendar Devotional, a signage in church’s toilet, and Ps Joseph Prince’s book (expedition to Israel)

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