With Wuhan Coronovirus Virus

Seen: Baby boys killed.

So Pharaoh commanded all his people, saying, “Every son who is born you shall cast into the river, and every daughter you shall save alive.”

Exodus 1:22

Unseen: Baby Moses was saved among the killings and even got the best resources for his upbringing. Would not have happened without the verdict. God make all things for the good. Moses grew up to become a man to deliver Israel and lead them to the promised land.

2 So the woman conceived and bore a son. And when she saw that he (Moses) was a beautiful child, she hid him three months. (…)

6 And when daughter of Pharaoh opened it (the basket with Moses), she saw the child, and behold, the baby wept. So she had compassion on him, and said, “This is one of the Hebrews’ children.”

Exodus 2:2,6

Pregnancy with baby JBL hasn’t been easy.

From tuberculosis attack on me, the mother, to anomaly growth in the head of the household, the father. And now nearing due date, it’s country crisis with Wuhan virus. The uncertainty surrounding child birth is compounded with the uncertainty of coronavirus. Baby Ex cannot come to the hospital because of revised visitor policy. Will there be virus cases admitted to NUH? Will there be lack of medical personnel because of redeployment? Will it be safe to bring the newborn to polyclinic for her check ups?

One good thing is my tuberculosis incident doesn’t coincide with the coronavirus period — because of the similar symptoms of fever and shortness of breathe.

I continue to believe in the goodness of it all. Baby JBL is a force not to be reckoned with. Like Moses born in such a time like this, and darkness trying hard to stop the light from shining, JBL is going to be a bright light that the enemy wants to quench. I’m trying to see the good, the silver lining here.

And with this epidemic spreading from China into the region and world, hidden xenophobia is brought out into the open for “discussion”. However politically right the world is trying to be, this crisis reveals the xenophobia in people. At least the monster is out for people to trash it out.

I empathise.

I empathised because of what I went through.

“Why me?” “How did I get it?” Then, there’s the agony of going through tests, the uncertainty when waiting for the results, the isolation that drains one physically, mentally, and emotionally. The waiting again, not knowing if one will fully recover or die. Not knowing what will happen to you tomorrow. Death looms so near.

It’s just another number in the news. Suspected number. Case number. Death toll numbers. But behind these numbers are people. A human being like you and me, with fears, hopes and dreams. With family and friends to love and be loved. Life goes on for everyone else, but for them, life painfully crawls on in gloom.

In the isolation ward, nurses and doctors wore mask before they came in. Even though I was suspected to be contagious, they still had to come near me and do what they need to do. I was full of admiration for them. I thought of their selfless spirit during the SARS period. Now, medical personnel are brought to the front lines again. All of them deserve an applaud, even those who stand in the first line of defense to take temperatures of all incoming patients.

With all the negative news and numbers climbing up, I have this heavy feeling in my heart, almost like a panic attack coming. Not helping when I am stressing about my possible labour pain and future childcare arrangements. Yet, I have to have on a brave front for baby EX.

I wanted to swat away this crisis like it’s an irritating mosquito. I want it to end soon. Yet, the peak is estimated to reach in March, my EDD, 1 March. I almost demand or expect God to end all these, and resume normalcy. That made me even more stressed and uptight.

But once I reminded myself to trust God in all and not worry. To rest and flow in the ebbs of His living water, the burden in my heart seem to be lifted. I can only pray but not force the situation to change to my will.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Phil 4:6-7