Life of Inefficiency

I was sitting in the dark, holding Joy’s hand to sleep with one hand and swiping my phone with the other. Suddenly, I felt so lousy. “Why can other mummies don do so many things, but I can’t?”

Then God enlightened me.

I’ve got limitations. I don’t have as many resources as them.

I don’t have a car to decrease travel time and physical effort (lots of walking!) when I bring them to enrichment classes or the playgrounds and parks around Singapore.

I don’t have a helper or an abundance of help from the girls’ grandparents.

God wanted me to learn how to live a life of inefficiency.

I am impatient and cannot stand idle time in life. I must be productive (ticking off many boxes on my to-do list) to feel like my day was good. I have prayed for patience. I sometimes wonder why pastors are burned out. Just don’t do so many things, I thought to myself. But it’s harder said than done. I don’t have the weight of responsibility but yet I put the burden on myself to do many things and stress myself out.

Perhaps this life of inefficiency is required for me to smell the roses and not burn out my mental health. And to let go of the many “must-do” and focus on the true essentials – things of eternity.

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.

Colossians 3:2